When I speak on stage, connect with a group of women or speak one-on-one, I often hear, “I am a certain way, so I can’t do that.” Have you thought or said this before? I used to be there. I used to believe that I couldn’t do certain things because of the way I am, who I am, and the experience I lack. But, guess what? Saying, “I am a certain way, so I can’t do that” is 100% an excuse, and your excuses are standing in the way of your success.
Saying, “I am a certain way, so I can’t do that” is an excuse that keeps women from getting what they want, living the life they want, and from being the woman they want to be. It’s also an excuse that keeps women from discovering their true calling, and it’s an excuse that is front of mind for so many.
The truth behind the excuse
So, why do we use this excuse? Why does this excuse keep us from being our true selves? Even more so, why do we listen and agree with this excuse? Why do we allow these words to hold us back from being our epic selves?
Some of us want to be our authentic selves but fear the unknown. The unknown of the journey that is in front of us, the unknown of what could truly happen…the “what if.” Many people say they are afraid of failure, but they are actually afraid of succeeding. It’s the whole, “what if it works, then what?” mentality. If this is you, your excuses are standing in the way of your success!
What is your plan?
What is your plan for when your idea, your journey or simply your happiness works out for you – for the good? You need a plan, but you also need a kick in the pants…and I am going to give it to you.
Whenever you try to use the excuse that you are a certain way and because you are this ‘said’ certain way, you are not going to move forward or carry through, I want you to think of the following.
Kidnapping your dream
I want you to think of your youngest child (if you do not have children, please think of a niece, nephew or a child that you simply adore with all your heart). If you envision this properly, all your feelings and emotions will connect with the vision, and the next part is going to tug at your entire being…be prepared.
This amazing child that is in your life was kidnapped. You don’t know who took them and you don’t know where they are. You are extremely upset and are willing to do whatever it takes to get them back, however, you don’t know where to start looking or what to do. Then, you get a phone call. The kidnappers have offered you a deal. You can have your child back if, and only if, you give them a ransom of $500,000 and you have two days to meet their deadline.
What would you do?
Tell me, what would you do? Easy question to answer, right?! You would do everything and anything in your power to get the money to rescue and save your child. No matter what it would take, you would find a way, any way, to get your child back.
So, why would we do this for our children and not for our dreams? Our dreams are our children. We raise them or neglect them, as we do with our children. Neglect seems like a harsh word, but it is the truth, and I will 100% admit that I to have fallen into this trap with both my dreams and my children.
Our dreams need to be treated, raised and nurtured like our children.
We, therefore, need to give them the attention and energy that we provide to our children. We need to make our dreams and the actions required to reach those dreams the priority they deserve to be. Our journeys are worth it; our families are worth it – WE are worth it!
To make your dreams a reality, you must act as if your dreams could be kidnapped.
You need to be willing to do whatever it takes to protect them and nourish them. Here are a few tips that you can use to make sure your mindset is not in excuse mode:
Create a plan around your ‘someday’ goal/dream.
To make your dream come true, you need to schedule a time to work on your dream every single day.
You have to work on your dream, as per the schedule you created. Don’t skip the task because your day got away from you.
The daily task HAS TO happen. No skipping, no procrastinating. Make it happen, complete the daily tasks.
You need to celebrate as you complete the tasks that are getting you closer to your dream.
Remember the vision that I took you through moments ago? When you feel lost or without direction, you, someone or something has kidnapped your dream, your motive, and your hustle. At this moment you need to do whatever it takes to save your process and your dream.
Does this seem harsh? YES! Your excuses are standing in the way of your success! If you are stuck in the, “I am a certain way, so I can’t do that” mindset, changing your thought patterns and behaviour is going to take a MASSIVE shift in your life. This worked for me, and my dreams are now becoming a reality. You need to choose to make the shift. You need to choose to move forward, and you need to choose to go after what you want.
What do you choose?