Imposter Syndrome: The Assassin Within

Imposter syndrome is something a lot of women feel, especially female entrepreneurs. As women in business, we tend to feel like we’re not good enough. We think we can’t get paid top dollar for the products or services we offer, and we feel we can’t beat our competitors. Maybe we feel we’re not smart enough, pretty enough or even tall enough. These feelings come from comparing ourselves to other people in our industry, regardless of where they are on their journey.

When I was a new CEO of a company, I couldn’t compare myself to a CEO of a Fortune 500 company; that would not have made sense. Comparison adds so much strife, stress, and anxiety to life. Thinking that I am supposed to be like some CEO that’s sitting at the top of a Fortune 500 company while I sit in my home office trying to figure out how in the world to build on this idea, this vision I have in my head into something great, is a waste of time.

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Comparing ourselves to others

It’s interesting how we allow what other people are doing affect us. We cannot compare ourselves to people who are further along on the journey than we are. At the same time, we shouldn’t even be comparing ourselves to people who are in the same space as us. If anything, we should be talking with them, connecting with them, asking how they’re doing, asking for advice, and becoming accountable to each other.

Imposter Syndrome: Comparing yourself to others

But instead, as women, it always comes down to comparing. We compare whose Instagram feed is nicer, who has more Facebook followers, how many videos someone puts out, how many clients they have, how well they dress, what their body type is, etc. This is where women get sucked into the trap. This is when they allow the assassin within to kill their vision and kill their dreams. What we don’t understand is that we’re doing it to ourselves.

The assassin within is someone we all have.

The assassin within that negative talk you hear in the back of your head. It’s the devil on the one side of your shoulder, and it’s also the nerves you feel, the envy you feel, or the disgrace or the disgust you feel when you look at what other people are doing. You cannot unleash your superhero until you kill the assassin. You need to at least lock it away behind a cement wall in your mind.

It is so important to understand that we, as women, have to be confident in what we’re doing, where we are on our journey, how far we have come, and where we are going. It’s also important to understand that nobody is like us, and we are like nobody else. There is a movement that needs to happen so that women can feel confident in who they are, what they do, and who they’re becoming.

What it means when you try to ‘outdo’ someone

You see this a lot within the workplace. People start comparing themselves. Sally gets hair extensions, so Susie goes out and gets her hair coloured. Lucy joins the gym, so Roxie gets a personal trainer. Paula gets her work done in five hours, Betty’s tries to beat her in four. Rosanne brings a turkey dinner for a potluck, so you better believe that Amelia is going to pay for catering next time.

Side note: Life doesn’t have to be so hard! Click here to discover how I found this out! 

The people who try to outdo someone else, it’s because of one of two reasons. Reason number one, they don’t think they’re good enough because they couldn’t bring in a turkey dinner or they didn’t think of the turkey dinner like Rosanne, and so they must outdo that person to make themselves feel good. Or number two, they tend to outdo the person because they knew, in the beginning, they could have done better, but they didn’t. So now, not only do they have to make it up to themselves and the people around them, they have to show up by showing off.

Outdoing others - Imposter Syndrome

The imposter syndrome, or as I like it to call it, the assassin within, is a true living ego or another part of your being within who you are. It’s up to you to resist allowing it to surface. It’s up to you to keep it behind bars. And, it’s up to you to say, “NOT TODAY!”

Charging enough

As female entrepreneurs, we have a hard time charging for our services because we don’t feel we are good enough to charge what we’re actually worth or because we are more afraid of losing a potential client and the little bit of money that could come in instead of working with clients that love and adore us.

From my own experience, when I’ve allowed the assassin within to come out, and I offered a client a discount or a lower rate than I charge, that client becomes a pain in the ass, and they drive me bonkers. Then I start to ask myself, ‘why did I ever give them a discount because now they are just a thorn in my side?’ So, now when I charge my clients, I charge my worth. I don’t undercut myself; I don’t undervalue myself. If anything, I add more value to the packages. When I add more value, I feel like I’m giving more than I’m receiving. I also feel like I’m doing more than they’ve asked for. This is one way that I have killed my assassin within.

The Assassin Within

90% of the time, I sign on a new client at the rate I have proposed to them. And, you also must remember, if someone doesn’t want to work with you because of your fees, they’re not the right match for you and your business. I do understand that when you’re starting in business, it’s hard to grow your business and you have to take any clients that come your way.

Knowing your worth

If you’re just starting out, then you should be charging a lower rate. When I started my bookkeeping business 22 years ago, I wasn’t charging near what I am now charging. Back then, I was just above the minimum wage. Here I am, 22 years later, multiple diplomas, different certifications and tons of experience, I can charge a lot of money because they’re not only paying for the data processing, they’re paying for someone with 22 years of knowledge (that is over 50,000 hours of service). They are paying for someone who understands how the numbers work, who have seen things they’ve never seen, and really can help to strategize their next steps to profit with them.

I charge what I’m worth because nobody’s going to do it for me. In the end, I have to be accountable for my actions. I have to be responsible for what I charge, how I treat people, and what the outcomes of what my practices are. I have to bind that internal assassin because nobody’s going to do it for me.

Here is a great video from Mel Robbins on the subject of Imposture Syndrome. I invite you to watch it and allow Mel’s words to sink in. 

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