When I talk about creating a life where you Live Beyond Satisfied™ I tend to reflect on luxurious weddings that you see in movies, on T.V., or possibly in person, where they have this huge champagne glass pyramid. To fill the glasses, someone climbs a ladder to the top of the pyramid, opens and pours champagne into the glass that sits on the top of the pyramid, which then overflows, filling all of the glasses below. I would say that champagne is life beyond satisfied. It speaks to me because it’s a metaphor if you look at it and understand what is happening. As humans, we have to fill our cups just like that first champagne glass, and sometimes the glass overflows. This post explains how to fill your cup first before you overflow into other people’s cups.
You can’t pour from an empty cup
It’s so important that we take the time to fill our cups first. You hear the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” that is because there’s nothing to pour out, it’s empty. Life should be about filling our cup and learning how to do that on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Some people learn to fill their cup once a month or maybe once a week. But I think the secret to creating a life where you Live Beyond Satisfied™ is learning to fill that cup every single day.
There was a time, not too long ago in a not so far distant land called my office, where I was all about working late nights. I was proud of myself for working late at night, and I was excited that I could do this. I could work all day, enjoy my family in the evening and then I could put another full eight-hour shift and go to bed around three or four in the morning, to wake up at 7:30 the next morning and do it all over again.
As I was filling everyone’s cup, I forgot to fill my own. And those late nights led to a lot of bags of Doritos and multiple cans of Pepsi. In the end, those late nights of trying to fill everyone else’s cups emptied my own. It brought me added weight, stress, tension, anxiety, and exhaustion. I thought I was doing the world around me a service. I thought I was doing my clients a service and the Mompreneur® members a service by getting the work done. What I failed to realize, was how much of a disservice I was doing to me, my family, and how much it was negatively affecting my business.
The downfalls of filling everyone else’s cups
Even though I thought I was getting ahead, I realized that I was getting way behind. About a year later, I gained 42 pounds; I was always exhausted and never wanted to do anything. Can you relate? Sure, I had my family, and they supported me through the whole thing, but I could not be the person they needed. I could not keep up with them in the activities we did. I was not able to watch movies with them because I would fall asleep – in the theatre. My work kept me so busy that I could not enjoy them playing outside or going for walks. I wasn’t making nice dinners because I was so focused on getting work done.
I was filling everybody’s cup, but not my own.
About a year ago, it hit me. I realized that if I kept going like this, I might not be here in a couple of years. Or I’d be extremely overweight to the point of being unhealthy. I don’t know about you, but a Diet Pepsi and Doritos is not the breakfast of champions. I don’t even think champions eat that. At that moment, it became very important to me to prioritize my life, my time, who I am to my family, who I am to my colleagues, my clients, but more importantly who I am to me.
Learning to Live Beyond Satisfied™
This is where the Live Beyond Satisfied™ movement came from. I learned what I was doing to myself, and I figured out how to change it. I looked at it, I laid it all out, and I realized this life is for no one. Nobody should have to live this way. Nobody should have to struggle to push through emptiness to fulfil everyone else.
I learned a valuable lesson through all of it. Creating a life where you Live Beyond Satisfied™ has to start with filling your cup first. It has to start with an understanding that if you don’t take care of you, one day you may not be here to take care of others. I truly want to teach people how to fill their cup daily so they can be everything they’re meant to be for themselves, their family, their workplace or business, their clients, their friends and for this world that so desperately needs them.
Realizing your purpose
People forget they are living breathing miracles and that they are on this earth for this purpose in time for something important. And if you want to fulfil that purpose, even if you don’t know what it is, you need to take care of you first.
This past weekend I decided to shut down. I enjoyed some great time with my family on Saturday and then in the evening I got ill, and that took a toll on my body. And I can tell you I got sick based on the way I was eating last week.
I had a great week, but fast food was just a lot quicker than me cooking, and it took a toll on my body. Sunday morning saw me waking up to get groceries. After I returned home and put the groceries away, I put on my pyjamas because I was tired. I then plopped myself into a chair only to wake up three hours later to get out of that chair, move to the couch to watch some NASCAR and have another nap.
I didn’t feel bad, and I didn’t feel like I was leaving the world behind. The world was not going to end because I took a few hours to rejuvenate my spirit, my body and my mind. Did I get everything that needed to be done Sunday? Absolutely not. But you know what, I was able to start Monday fired up and ready to go, ready to take on the entire world. I felt like an Avenger.
Fill your cup first
It’s important to understand that when you take time to fill your cup, whether it’s through sleep, watching a movie, doing something fun with your family, sitting in a hot tub, taking a hot shower, reading a book, meditating, spending time in prayer – whatever it is for you at that moment, you need to listen to your body. It’s telling you it needs rest. It needs to chill out.
Needing rest can show up in many ways. Sunday was about sleep, but maybe tomorrow it might show up as going for a walk. I don’t believe there’s one way that you fill your cup. For example, let’s talk about today.
Today is Tuesday, June the 11th. I have so much I want to share, and so much I want to say to you that I’m doing it through audio and then transcribing it into words that is now what you’re reading. You see, today is my husband’s birthday. R.H. turns 44 today, and I decided that we need some time, just the two of us, to fill our marriage cup.
For his birthday present, I rented him a Ford Mustang GT. I showed up with it last night. The smile on his face was huge, and I looked at him and said, “Guess what? We’re taking tomorrow off, and we’re going to spend the day together celebrating you, driving around in your favourite car.” He was over the moon excited!
Don’t feel guilty
Do I feel guilty about not being in the office today? A little bit. Do I feel guilty that I am not going to pick up the phone when my clients call? A little bit. But what I have done is I’ve let my clients know through social media and email that I’m unavailable today because I’m celebrating my man’s birthday.
We are taking a weekday to fill our cup. In the end, our marriage must be strong, or life and everything within it just isn’t going to work. It’s about taking that time whenever it’s needed. If you have a job and you have some sick days or vacation days, and you know you need a day of doing nothing, a day to relax, or to reconnect with your partner or your kids, then take the day. Let work know, “I can’t come in today,” or preplan it so that people aren’t left in a bind without you at work.
If you own your own business, decide to take some time off. Put your autoresponder on your email and say you’re out of the office for the day and you’ll reply tomorrow. Don’t be afraid to take a mental health day. Don’t be afraid to take a day where you can fill your cup so that you can keep being the person that you’re meant to be for these people you work with. At best, try not to feel guilty. Because if they are the right people in your life, they will understand and that’s the important part.
Here are a few ways I fill my cup daily.
- I start the morning with gratitude. Even if it’s just thanking the universe for the sun shining this morning.
- I then brush my hair, put on makeup and clothes that make me feel good. Clothes could be my loungewear, but it’s whatever I need in that moment to make me feel good.
- I hug and kiss my kids, I tell them that they are amazing and I tell them to create an epic day and help somebody (side note, if you don’t have kids, then you share this with the people around you or you simply tell it to yourself. If you have kids and they’re not living at home, text them. Text them every morning and tell them how amazing they are).
To fill your cup; you’ve got to tell people how awesome they are because the response feels so good. Just a, “Wow, thanks for thinking of me.” You know you’ve touched somebody’s life.
- I make sure I eat something for breakfast. Some days it could be a chocolate milk and poppy seed loaf. Other days it could be cottage cheese and berries. I eat what I want and feel in that moment.
- I take to social media and let my community know how amazing they are. Whether it’s through a live video, recorded message or post, I want people to know I’m thinking of them and loving on them.
- Lastly, I get to my desk and set up for the day. My workspace is clean and ready to go. While I’m working, I put on my headphones, and I listen to uplifting music, motivational inspiration or listen to the videos posted on YouTube by Gary Vee. I do whatever it takes to get in the zone – to fill up my cup.
Don’t compare your cup to others
You do you, my friend. Don’t compare yourself to how other people fill their cups. Maybe for you, it’s having a bath every single morning rocking out to Led Zeppelin. Perhaps it’s taking a walk in the morning listening to the bird’s chirp. Maybe it’s simply stepping outside and breathing fresh air. Whatever it is for you, you do you. Don’t compare yourself to me, don’t compare yourself to your spouse, your partner, your colleagues, do you. YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Fill your cup first every single day so that you are the person you’re destined and designed to be.